Dad Checks In

I was more than content checking the family blog occasionally, enjoying Jennifer's observations and humor. She eventually made me a contributor to the blog, but I ignored that in favor of continuing my role as a spectator. Then she had to go and make a bunch of ridiculous claims about me, and in true Jennifer fashion, fail to post a single nicety about herself. She has partially rectified the latter, but it is up to me to clarify information about us both.


First I'll dispute some (false) claims about me:

• I'm a "Financier." This is Jen's kind way of saying I'm a tightwad. She's kind--I'm accurate.
• "Father of the years past and years to come." This seems to put me on par with Father Time. If that was the case, I wouldn't be balding as I age.
• "Author." I'm pretty sure authors are required to write--at least occasionally--so I think I'm disqualified. I could make an incision with my pocket knife and poke around your abdomen a bit with a spoon, but that doesn't make me a surgeon.
• "His Worshipfulness." I'm not sure we're talking about the same kids. If somehow we are referring to the same children, there must be confusion regarding the definition of the word "worship." I'd be very happy with "Acknowledged by his children," and ecstatic with "Obeyed by his children."
• "Best boss." Is this a promotion or just a change in title?
• "Biscuit." I think most country folk would be more likely to drawl, "Looks ter me like yer scarecrow is gettin' a bit thin on top an' thick in 'is middle."

Second, I'll have to explain a few of the fine things about Jen that she's too humble to mention herself:

• She's devoted. Every day she remains committed to me, our family, and covenants she has made with God. Certainly it would be easier to let at least one of these go--just for a little while until [fill in the blank]. But she doesn't.
• She's self-aware. She's mindful of both of her shortcomings, and she works to overcome them.
• She is the expert on our children. I am pleasantly surprised at least once a week at how well she knows, how much she knows, and how deeply she understands each of our children. These are surpassed only by her love for them.
• SAHM. I just learned the acronym (and probably got it wrong as well), but I suspect this audience knows what I mean anyway. I'm good for a few hours. I could make it though a few days if I had to. But every day, all the time? Nu-uh.
• 10,000 acts of quiet service. I don't even notice most of them, and of the ones I do notice, I only manage to mention a few. But while I'm thinking of zeros and ones and databases and servers, she's thinking of me. That, frankly, is fantastic.

There's more of course, but I'm not too good with the food metaphors (and I'm paranoid at what you all might read into them!). Bottom line is I think I'll keep her--as long as she tones down the ridiculous things she posts here about me!