Changes

Tomorrow morning, after about an hour of acid level action and jamming out the door, my life begins a new chapter. I will be alone for six hours and twenty minutes, five days a week. This freedom for the low price of sending my babies off to be taught, nurtured, disciplined, attended to by a teacher and about 20 of their counterparts. :(. I remember when there were days I dreamt about such a time in my life...some just during the past three months of summer (we survived). Now that it's here my heart is screaming, hold the phone, please wait, it's all happened too fast. And then there are the nagging questions. Is Hannah too young to be a Kindergartner and at school for so long? Will Laura make friends and be happy and not die over the stinking fcat? Will Cole handle being separated from the majority of his friends who are all in a class together? I didn't imagine the stress of the weight of these questions and my perusing into Florida virtual school, but alas it's true. It's not something we'll jump into lightly, the summer is too fresh on our minds :), but it's defintiely a consideration which I would've never anticipated.

I'm going to miss them so much and worry about them, for them. I keep going back to the fact that I made it through and if I baby them, then what happens when the real world comes knockin..and it will.

But I'm excited for the good things school brings and I'm not so foolish not to be excited for myself and the time I'll have (when I'm not subbing or working at target).

Here's back to school tidbits:

Cole is the one most dreading school. So tonight I said, "Ok, Cole what if I tell you we're pulling you out, you'll be homeschooled, starting tomorrow." He said all disgruntled and torn "I need the playground and my friends here and I'm good". I said, "Your friends will be at school." He replied, "I need something bad to happen to the school." :) Always has a plan that guy.

Laura has been a quiet ball of nerves, she's expressed her anxieties over random things and pretty much internalizes everything and then explodes over the little stuff, but once she's done exploding for a little bit she's good. She should be good for a while now. :) She said on the way to church this morning, "I don't want to be the middle child." She couldn't cite me an example of how this a bad thing, she just knows it is. I do rely on her a lot and am so appreciative of her help. She's the child I'm having the hardest time sending. :(

Tonight Hannah asks me for the third time to lay down with her, she'd been pinging off the walls for much of the evening. As I lay down with her, again (cause tomorrow's the first day of school and I'm a sucker) she says, "This time Mommy, lay down with me for a long time" I say " I'll lay down with you for a little time". Pause "Mommy, a little time is not even a word".

Here's a pic of Cole and Laura meeting Hannah when she was born, the day before Cole started Kindergarten. Time has flown and the song is true.."you're I gonna miss this".