You're never going to believe it!

Well, you probably will....
In cub scouts on of the achievement thingees in Duty to God is to tell two way that you can practice your religion and then do them. So Cole and I were driving along somewhere and he decided the two would be fasting and testimony. He didn't get that the testimony went with the fasting (he'd done that before...for one meal). So on Sunday I was talking to him about it and he said nu uh. I said he could testify to our family at home but he needed to bear his testimony as part of the practicing.

So sacrament meeting I'm trying to encourage him, in my mind because I dont' want him to be afraid of it, or as afraid or realize everyone's afraid but that he was strong enough to concur this. So I mentioned he could sit with Brandon on the stand if he went up (only a little twinge of guilt for this). He kept talking about it and I said it was okay to just do it at home, he said he wanted to but there were so many people. I tried to assure him that he didn't have to go up, he wanted to sit with daddy, but evidently Brandon had already told him he couldn't go up, but I said if he bore his testimony we could ratify that, but only under those circumstances. Good stuff for Cole's therapy later.

So Hannah's potty training and I tell Cole that we have to go out to potty and he can think about it and decide after I get back.

That's right folks, I missed my son's first testimony in church. Apparently there was only one person too many in the room. Serves me right.

He really didn't mean to he said he just decided to go (probably cause he didn't have anyone to debate it with) and that the people went fast in front of him. Brandon said he stood beside him with is hand on his shoulder and Cole said the basics, very quickly.

Brandon said the reason he didn't want Cole sitting with him was b/c he was having to raise and lower the podium and was needing to concentrate but he did give him snuggle love time right after he bore his testimony and let him sit with hime for a minute. That's our defense for future therapy.

I just can't believe it all went down that way, can you?

Stuff

On Tuesday Cole received his bob cat award from his den leader Sister Hair. He is loving doing all the scout stuff. He has his mother's competitive nature. When his friend David got two beads he wanted to know how he could get them and has been working hard and I have been working hard to remind and help him, we're a great team ;).

Mom offered to have the kids come spend the night, so Brandon and I went to Cabo's for yummy yummy burritos and then to Sam's to stock up on some food storage and said we'd spend the day today organizing our laundry/food storage room, that looked like a poster child for such rooms. We dowloaded 'Don't Stop Believing' for Rock band and jammed like young people and quickly crached like old people, it was like 11:00, some rockers we are.

Yesterday and today I have awakned at 4:15am and not been able to get back to sleep, this is not like me, so today I tried to stay in bed because I was planning on and was registered to run in a 5k., I really want to know if I've gotten better since going to the gym.

I already had sore throat so I was debating about going. Alas I got up at 5:00 because it wasn't working and I knew I wanted to do more in the laundry room than just organize. So I started and created a huge mess by moving everything around, but realized that I could paint the depressing brown paneling walls during this. So I found my favorite green color in the shed and went to work. And decided with the painting decision I would be running a different race today.

Brandon got up at 8:00 and was oh so pleased to know that I was up to my antics...love you babe. He handled it graciously, helping get a shelf down that's services were no longer needed. He then went about his plans for the day. We did get back together to reorganize our food storage. The laundry room may look weak, but the precious few that saw the before are appreciating the after....organization is my weakest link. Here's a pic of some of the progress.

so we went to Bianca's to have a calzone because riccardo's wasn't open and just for you Tallahasseans, never settle for Bianca's..wait for Riccardo's.

We picked up the kids and being the good parents we are brought them back home, fed, bathed, scriptured and then ....

that's right folks, the Porter kids played rock band!!!!!!!!!!!!! They loved it a little too much, I'm only feeling slightly guilty about that, it was only Eye of the Tiger...rising up.....

So one more family milestone. Two days ago, I told my sister I wasn't going to try to potty train Hannah until after our trip to Idaho. Not two hours later Hannah is asking to wear panties and I thought well if she asking I probably ought to pay attention. She's pretty much worn panties since and had one accident. She went at Cole's school, grandma's. She went by herself with no one telling her to go I just found her looking for toilet paper. Laura is to credit for this I think, she's been working with her. So of course I'm having day dreams about not buying more diapers, this being it, but I keep telling myself...you just wait until she realizes how much power she has here. She insisted on wearing her panties to bed..... I'll keep you posted.

Trying

to come up with an even more depressing post, but maybe we'll stray from that mood for a bit.

On Saturday, I took Cole and Laura with Mom and Frank to see The Sound of Music at the Quincy Music Theatre. This was Cole's second, Laura's first. I wasn't sure how Laura would like it and with Laura there's not a whole lot of middle ground. The girl knows what she likes.

Cole had recently seen Cinderella on a school field trip and loved so I wasn't so concerned.

Laura sat in my lap, there were fidgety times. She asked how many more songs there were. I could tell she enjoyed the girls dancing in pretty dresses. Near the end she asked again about how many songs and I asked her if she was ready for it to end and she said no. I wasn't totally convinced about that due to the wiggling on my lap.

Afterwards I was able to introduce her to the star of the show (who she later told me was her favorite character) Maria, b/c it was Jessica Applegate who I knew from old 5th ward stomping days. I gotta tell you I felt like the heroine to be able to do that. Laura was a little star struck.

So on the way home I asked the kids if they liked it and both gave a resounding yes. Laura said she wanted to go back right then and watch it again. It was a three hour show, so I'm really surprised and pleased.

Musicals are a big love of mine. My first musical was at QMT, it was Camelot and I fell head over heels with the experience. I love the plays at QMT cause it's pretty intimate (small) and just kind of nice.

I did make it Broadway a couple of times, seeing Bells are Ringing and Miss Saigon. Miss Saigon was a disappointment, but I changed my tickets from Cats to this so I could hang with the very cute foreign guys I met in the discount ticket line, and I just remembered that that was in the World Trade Center I believe. Anyway, the show was bad and I did catch up with the guys but, luckily, that didn't pan out either, cause I have a westerner now to sweep me off my feet instead of a european.

Back on track. I'm looking forward to taking the kids to many more musicals. There's Peter Pan in the fall.

Cole is in his first non class play at the school. It's Peter Pan. Growing up I never had the opportunity to be in a play where you try out for parts, have after school rehersals and such. I always wanted to be a part of that kind of production and still hope to be (just not at an elementary school so much). So I'm a bit of a stage mom, at home. I press Cole about the rehersals and am more excited about his two line part than he is, but he's pretty excited....living through my kids already. Cole will probably be a director more so than an a performer, he's already given suggestions of the lost boys and pirates fighting down stage while Peter and Captain Hook are battling on stage. I'm not sure if that has been implemented yet.

So we're singing do re mi, my favorite things around here....

and just because...
I'm a bit of a two year old right now about my dadgum cat. I miss him, I want him back and I think I should get what I want because I want it......this statement may be deleted before this post is printed and bound, but for the time being I'm thinking of it as grief therapy.

Tiger

We are not pet people, well Brandon and I are not pet people. The offer came from people we loved, The Moultons, to take their cat that they didn't want to take across country. The people in our house we loved (Cole and Laura) really wanted a pet. With promises of mole deliverance to Brandon we welcomed Tiger home. We kept him on our back porch trapped for two weeks to acclimate him and the let him go. He didn't come back and I was so sad, but then one day Brandon comes in and says guess how's back. I was so happy!

We enjoyed him for almost two years. He was the perfect pet for us. He wanted just enough loves. He made good on the moles and would leave them for us as presents on the patio. He would sleep and snuggle with Cole and Cole loved that.

Recently, we began to notice that Tiger wasn't himself, he was turning his nose up to food, losing weight, sitting with us on the couch which he never did. So today I took him to the vet and they basically said he's sick - sick, sick. After weighing our options for Tiger and the vet agreeing, we decided to put him to sleep. I'm from the country there are no decisions about animals. This was so hard, but we knew it was the best decision for Tiger.......

My heart was broken, telling Cole was harder than I thought it would be. He was so so sad. Laura was too in her own way, she wanted Tiger back but was not emotional about it, that's part age, part personality. Hannah was oblivious, Brandon was cool until he told Cole. Cole didn't want to go say goodbye to Tiger at first, but then changed his mind. I'm glad he did. We were able to have a couple of minutes with Tiger and hold him during the go to sleep phase. No one wanted to be there during the final shot. They gave us his body in a box.

Cole wanted him to be near the lemon tree so he could smell the blossoms. We decided on a spot less traveled in the back and put blossoms on top. We had a "funeral" for him where Cole conducted and we sang Did Jesus really live again?, offered a prayer and most of us told of a Tiger memory. We were so proud of Cole, it was so hard for him. Cole wrote on Tiger's coffin (that actually looked like a little coffin). Tiger you were the best cat I will and ever had. Love, Love, Love, Cole. Laura was so sweet and loving to Cole, she wanted so much to help him and would hug him when he cried. She also carried Tiger's box around for us and ended up falling in the hole we dug. Hannah was trying to fill up the hole before it was time and kept wanting to see Tiger. She was so sweet today though, when I was upset after the news she was asking what is wrong with me and she asked if I missed Tiger and I said yes and she said awww we'll get him from the Doctor. So. Sweet.

This was the first of family tragedies for us wherein all of us were effected. I realize Tiger was "just a cat". But I know that there were moments during the day that I was carried by my Heavenly Father, led to people who would help without knowing it. Our family was brought closer together, we were able to teach true principles of the eternities and the Spirit was felt,,,, all over "just a cat". Farewell Tiger, you will be missed!

Music to my ears

So I am an odd duck, most times, not too much of a surprise to many. I have this thing with sounds. Random repeated sounds irritate me easily. I think I get this from my dad along with low circulation to the feet. Anyways, an example is hearing someone typing (I thought it was just Brandon's but then my sister was here and it happened then too). There is not rhyme or reason other than repetition; sometimes things bother me and sometimes they don't. Odd.

Cut to a couple of weeks ago when we had some serious lightning hit close to our house. Come to find out our microwave was a casualty to the lightning. So we went without the microwave for a while, cursing occasionally when we went to get a yummy quickly heated. Yesterday we finally replaced the old horse and how excited I was to find out that you can turn the sound off. No more microwave beeping. Something I didn't even realized bothered me I was elated about. The microwave stops and there's just silence. That silence is music to my ears. I think I'll go nuke something now just for the heck of it.

A Friend

I don't remember meeting my friend Tammy. She was just there as long as I could remember. I assume we met in Kindergarten. I would beg my stepdad to take me to her house. It was full of adventures. She was very brave. Her dad hunted and was raising a small farm so there was killings of chickens, pigs. She lived across from a man made water hole that we would illegally sneak into to swim. She eventually had a pool of her own that we sheepishly went swimming in only our underpants, we were all of 11 or 12 and got caught! She had dark hair and freckles. She had a firey temper, but a smile sweet as anything. We laughed alot, we fought alot, we even dressed alike a couple of times.

In middle school years and early high school we 'fought' over a boy and went our separate ways. In the beginning of our Senior year we mended our hurts and became close again, I was baptized into the church in November of that year. In January of the school season she was diagnosed with lymphoma. I spent the night with her not long after the diagnosis and she told me it wasn't contagious, then we knelt and prayed.

It was scary. We made trips to Shands hospital in Gainesville. Slept in hospital beds together. We were both twigs back then and didn't know it. She loved her nurses at Shands.

Not too many months after her diagnosis she was told the doctors couldn't do anymore. She was terminal. It was really unbelievable. I remember driving back home in tears after finding out. Tammy was still so brave. When I made it to Gainesville she greeted me with a smile.

I remember sitting in her room going through her clothes. She designed her tombstone. And she fought to the end. The doctors said she lived two weeks longer than she should have. She would be in so much pain and still go and do the things she wanted to do.

She died on August 8, 1990, two months after she graduated high school where she walked to get her diploma.

She loved daisies. People were drawn to her. Her nurses from Shands came to her home to visit her.

Not long after she died I moved to Daytona Beach with my dad. I remember having a dream during that time and Tammy was alive and I had something to tell her and I woke up and reached for the phone.

I may have been looking, but while going to college in Daytona all of the girlfriends I made had something about them that reminded of Tammy, freckles, their physique, their personality.

I've had many dreams of Tammy over the years, most of them entail how she died and somehow was brought back to life. I often think about what a good mother and friend she would be today.

Last night I had another dream where I was explaining to someone how Tammy was here and she was sick but they saved her. Tammy needed to do research for a paper and I was telling her we didn't need to go to the library we could look it up on the internet, she thought I was crazy. I must of woken up not long after or however that works.

It took me until I got to the living room to realize that I wouldn't be able to call Tammy and my heart ached. I know she is present at times. I know I will see her again. I appreciate having had her as a friend. And for some reason I felt a need to write it all down....

Cole's Garden

This is Cole's idea of a garden....full of money. He's such a hoot. And it's a game. You have to find the letters for money three times.

Other don't forgets recently...

Laura as I'm strongly encouraging her to clean her things out of the living room.

"You are the worst mother I ever had in the whole wide world!"

Hannah handing me a white crayon..."the batteries are dead."

Hannah often gets names and words confused, She calls my sister Melissa, Carmen, she calls my brother Grandaddy Mike and my dad, Michael. Recently she started calling the tent the temple and the temple keeps the bugs out :). As we're headed camping, we're going to the temple, going to the temple!